Does anyone else HATE when Easter falls this early in spring?
I mean it’s April Fool’s Day… too early for Easter imho.
And I KNOW, I should be posting for Easter today but the call to post for April Fool’s Day is too strong.
I can’t resist.
Today was DESIGNED for a blooper post!
I mean, I LOVE poking fun at myself. And for most of you, you know that I really DON’T belong in front of the camera. I’m a photographer through-and-through. And I’m often FAR from the polished, pulled together girl I appear here on the blog.
But since I like doing creative direction, fashion styling, and location scouting, I’m more often than not left modeling for my photos (I even shoot myself!).
And let me tell you, you learn some hard lessons about yourself when you model in your own photos.
You learn who you truly are deep down…
The good, the bad, and the oh-so-very ugly.
And so, without further ado, here is my 2018 Blooper post…
What I’ve Learned About Myself From Modeling in My Photos
1. I Make Some Truly Horrific Facial Expressions
Like I’m constantly appalled and horrified.
Case in point, this photo and the intro photo.
Heaven knows what I’m making these faces at. And heaven knows why. But I make them. Boy, do I make them. I make them all the time, multiple times a shoot and it begs the question… if I make these disgusted expressions so much, do I need to smile more to compensate?
2. My Eyes Are REALLY Light Sensitive
Even with sunglasses.
Sunny days kill me.
I squint and have my eyes closed in 90% of the shots I model in on a bright day. It’s a huge pain since generally my hair looks best in the photos my eyes are closed in (law of photography I guess) and sometimes I can’t tell on the back of my camera IF I’m squinting, only to find out hours later on my laptop that I definitely, definitely was.
Oye.
Luckily I do actually know a good technique for combating this problem (though I very rarely remember to do it for myself when I’m modeling): Have your models keep their eyes shut in harsh sunlight. Count to 3 and on 3 have them open their eyes softly right on you. Click away and then give your model a minute to close their eyes and rest, then repeat. You’re guaranteed to not have any squinting photos!
3. I do NOT Twirl Gracefully
At all.
Most of my twirling photos end up looking like I’m on a drunk tilt-a-whirl.
My feet are always pigeon-toed out. My arms positioned to prepare for the inevitable fall. And my facial expressions? More constipated than anything.
Sorry Mom, all those ballet lessons as a kid really did not pay off.
4. I Over-Exaggerate For The Camera
This is quite an ironic lesson seeing as I’m ALWAYS telling my models to over-exaggerate for me when I shoot.
Always!
It’s long been a photographer law that in order for your subject to translate well to the camera, you need DRAMA and DEPTH. You need them to really tell a story with their expression. And with 30% more drama than they would in real life.
I’m constantly asking my models to break out of their comfort zone and get wild for the camera. So when I’m modeling I try to replicate this… too much. I try to exaggerate for the effect.
And I get an effect like this shot…
5. I Have No Poise When I Eat
As a foodie and a photographer, I always WANT to be in my food photos. Well, I don’t want to be in the shots personally. But shots of food AND people always are so much more engaging than shots of just food. So I’m often left having to model for them.
And then I get home.
And I look at the shots of me eating and cry.
I have no grace when I eat. No poise. Just pure, pathetic happiness and lots of embarrassing bloopers.
My lips disappear when I eat! Particularly when I eat and talk (oh, so attractive). And I’m constantly waving my hands around, squinting, and generally not looking cute with my food.
More like a food-crazed grizzly bear hunting for mac ‘n cheese like it’s their job…
6. My Hair is Non-Cooperative
Some girls can do it. Some girls can have insanely long hair and perpetually get stunning shots of it without hassle (I’m looking at you, Olivia!).
Some of us can’t.
Some of us are constantly pampering our long hair in the hopes to get one, killer wind-blown shot. And instead getting shots like this.
Getting one beautiful, windblown shot is not easy.
It requires A LOT of takes. A lot of brushing in between takes. And a lot of embarrassing bloopers just to get one shot you can use…
7. There Are Times When My Face Resembles That Of A Care Bear
Care Bears. The beloved children’s cartoon of my youth.
And now I get to relive my Care Bear 5-year-old fantasies as an “elegant” adult.
Oye.
I can’t tell you how many unflattering, talking shots I have of myself from blog shoots. And in at least half of them my face morphs into such a perfect round circle and my cheeks puff out just enough that I really do look like a cartoon Care Bear.
Personally, I’d be Tender Heart if I had to choose…
8. I Do Not Multitask Gracefully
Or at all in real life either.
I try to. I really do.
But inevitably even if I’m trying to just throw my jacket on my shoulders and not spill my ice cream, I do it with such a lack in grace that i just HAVE to share it here.
9. I Exit A $600k Car Like A Royal
With all the grace, poise, and elegance of Kate Middleton.
NOT.
Last month I had the incredible pleasure of shooting with Rolls-Royce and their Phantom VIII — I’ll be sharing everything from this *pinch me* experience on the blog next week (UPDATE: read about my entire Rolls-Royce experience HERE)!
But let me promise you that as gorgeous as the shots from that shoot were, there were at least 3x the number of photos that looked like this.
Which begs the question, shouldn’t I practice exiting a Rolls-Royce more often?
10. I Will Likely Never Make The Cover Of Vogue
You know, unless they’re doing some sort of “real women” of America campaign where they bring in squatty photographers to pose in mock “vogue poses”. I’d be really good at that.
In all seriousness this shot was actually a joke — Sandy and I were walking along the beach in Los Cabos laughing about some of the “high-fashion” poses we see in magazines. So this was my “high-fashion” pose.
Which is so bad, it deserves a spot on this list. I mean, I meant to post like I was in Vogue and this is what I got… a sick flamingo on his last bender…
Happy April Fool’s Day! Check out my original blooper post from 2016 for more laughs!
